““The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (PG-13, 130 minutes). The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan…

…sitting through this experience is like driving a tractor in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson return in their original roles, she dewy and masochistic, he sullen and manacing. Ah, teenage romance! One star.”

- ‘The Your Movie Sucks™ files’ — Roger Ebert’s Journal